Unfortunately, This Story is Not a Good Fit and Your Life is a Joke

Part of the problem was that every sentence you wrote made us want to vomit. Personally, when I finished reading your submission (and by finished, I mean gave up after page three), I felt like Abraham walking away from a burning Sodom and Gomorrah after failing to identify a single, redeemable soul. Continue reading Unfortunately, This Story is Not a Good Fit and Your Life is a Joke

how to read a book, according to stock photos

How to Read a Book, According to Stock Photos

According to the Pew Research Center, the average American only reads four books in a year, and 27 percent of us read none at all. I came across these stats a few weeks ago and felt immediately burdened by a payload of poopy shame, because my numbers aren’t exactly ahead of the pack. But then I remembered Gus Van Sant’s fictional psychotherapist telling poor Will … Continue reading How to Read a Book, According to Stock Photos

the cabal

Honest Horoscope: Thanksgiving Day, 2016

Aries (March 21 – April 19) This morning, moons Phobos and Deimos were seen slinking away from Mars after a 4.5 billion-year sham romance that they claim was never intended to be serious. According social media, your life is a whirlwind of love and sex and flirtation, but today, as you sit around the dining room table with your newly-married father, your younger sister and … Continue reading Honest Horoscope: Thanksgiving Day, 2016